Our story of Jakob's adoption

I have had a few people ask about our adoption of Jakob. I didn't blog back then, but I have written something that I share with families interested in learning more about Ukraine adoption. Like to hear it? Here it goes...


The adoption of our son, Jakob, was an emotional rollercoaster…at best. A short 7 months later, we were on our way to Ukraine to meet our first son!

We arrived in Ukraine 9/9/01 and were quickly settled in to our flat…on the fourth floor with no working elevator. The following day we were taken to our appointment at the National Adoption Center in Kyiv. We had done everything we were told to do….buy nice gifts, have a little photo album of the life ahead for our child, dress modestly, and most importantly…be patient (much easier said than done!) We searched through 10 or more 4 inch binders full of profiles of children waiting for forever families…and didn’t really feel like any were meant to be ours. The psychologist in the office whom we were working with just so happened to “conveniently” have a profile of a child in her drawer that she thought would be perfect for our family. The profile was Jakob’s, and she was right in her thoughts! Jakob was born on the very same day we were married (so if my husband for gets a birthday he also forgets the anniversary!). We took this as our sign to go see this child.

We were in our flat waiting for our translator and car to come take us to the train depot for our overnight train ride to our son’s city. We were watching TV and it was showing stars on the cities of DC, NY, and somewhere in PA. We were not able to understand the words and all they showed were maps. We joked that it was no news that something was happening in DC and NY. When our translator arrived, they told us of the attack on our country. The stress level we felt at this point increased 10 fold, but we were still very excited about meeting our new son.

After finding a place to stay that didn’t have broken glass in the carpet and had windows intact, we were ready to go meet our new son. (Ironically, we stayed at a spa for pregnant women…I fit in, as I was 4 months pregnant at that time! My husband, however, was a little out of place!) We sat anxiously on an old green divan in the toddler house of the orphanage waiting for them to bring Jakob to us. They took great preparations to get him ready to meet us….bathing him and putting on “good” clothes. When they finally brought him in, it was love at first sight. My husband and I looked at each other with tears in our eyes, and reached out for our new son. Jakob had, and still has, the most amazing big, brown eyes with bovine eyelashes…and when we met him, they were very sad eyes. At the age of 28 months, Jakob weighed only 13 pounds and was unable to stand or walk. He was like a plant that needed a new pot in order to grow. Jakob had many diagnoses: rickets, giardia, developmental delays, inguinal hernia, urinary tract infection, and malnutrition…things that are easily addressed in our country. So, we agreed on the spot that we were interested in adopting Jakob. With smiles on their faces, the caretakers informed us that our next visit we needed to bring “pampers”!

In between going for birth certificates, passports, and other documents we were able to get quick visits in with Jakob. We walked to his orphanage, about 20 minutes one way. We had to take our own toys for him to play with, but he was most interested in the bottles of formula and pedialyte that he used to chase down the tasty goldfish crackers! The orphanage had beautiful trees and a garden where the caretakers grew some of the food for the kids. We were allowed to take Jakob outside for some fresh air and sunshine, but only with a snowsuit on! We were quite comfortable in the 70-degree weather, but you can never be too cautious I guess!

The day finally arrived when we were able to take Jakob with us. I was very nervous as we dressed him in a Winnie the Pooh outfit we purchased at the market. It was as if I was being tested to see if I was ready to be a mom as a crowd of 7 watched me change a diaper and dress my new son. At one point I knew I would fail this “test” because the caregivers were scolding me for not having any tights to put on Jakob before we left. We did have a hat, blanket, and shoes that were easily 3 sizes too big for his tiny feet though! The feeling we had of holding Jakob in our arms on the car ride back to Kyiv is one that will never fade. Without saying a word, my husband and I could look at each other and know that the other was thinking, “I can’t believe it…we have a son!!!!”

Our paper chase, court appearance, and travels were grueling as we thought we would never make it home. After a lot of crying-mom included, diaper changes on the plane, and sleepless flights we finally landed in Kansas City where Jakob’s new family were waiting for him with balloons and a teddy bear…and the beginning of his new life with his forever family.

Jakob is now a very active and healthy 8 year old…with a love for Transformers. He doesn’t remember his life in the orphanage, and we are glad for that. As we prepare to adopt an older child from Ukraine, we remember the trials and triumphs we experienced in bringing Jakob to a better life and hope that other people would consider adoption. The blessings your adopted child receives can only be multiplied back to you!

Update....

Well..our dossier was submitted and now we wait for our date!!! Once we have the date, I will feel MUCH better. Then it's real...and we can start planning! As many of you know....I am a planner! I can start my lists and piles and so on. David will do his part of making the travel arrangments....and I have all the faith in him that he will do a stellar job!

Not much to write....big news comes in small packages!!

I Can't Take it Any More!!!

Our troubled document got to Kyiv today..and is being translated. Our dossier should be submitted to the SDA (NAC) tomorrow. With any luck/sympathy/good karma/ miracles they will give us an appt date on the spot since we will not consume much time at the SDA.

If you are the praying type....hold us there please! We have alot to do to pull this off on our end...but we have faith that it will happen!!

Pulling our hair......

OK...so, when I took a call last week it was NOT from the NAC.....my apologies!! I have since learned it was from Lena.....an assistant (?) to our POA. I have figured this out because I was more alert when she called yesterday to tell me that the Sec of States office put 2007....not 2008 on our apostille. I own part of the blame for not checking......but let the SOS office own most of it! Our marriage certs were redone for free out of pity from the county office and the SOS offered to UPS/FEDEX our docs at their expense....and I'm sure not the fastest way possible! So, I took the afternoon off work yesterday and did the third times a charm edition of our marriage certs!! As of 5 min ago....they were in Paris, France! oy vay!!!

As an oldie, I can tell you the roller coaster ride is never easy to handle. Even though we expect the unexpected....it's still a tough pill to swallow!

So, with any luck (good luck, that is) our dossier will be submitted this friday....only a week late and $250 later!

That's all I have.....for now! With any luck we will have a travel date soon and can get on the next ride!

Here we go..........

So we awoke this morning to phone call @ 6am from the SDA (the governing body over adoptions in Ukraine)!!! I feel so important!!! I thought it was awesome that she called to let us know that our dossier was submitted as scheduled, only they needed more current certified copies of our marriage certificates!! I know it sounds silly, but this was one of the easiest things to correct that possibly could have come up! As far as I'm concerned....this was a baby hoop, as opposed to what could have been a flaming hoop from hell!!!! So, I was able to get certificates from a county office and take them to the state office to be apostilled (proof that the notary is a notary...being the recorder of deeds is not official enough)....all taking less than 30 minutes and costing less than $20!!! FedEx....not so easy, not so cheap!!! BUT...the documents are on their way and we seem to have the sympathy of the one person I talked to!!

Basically, my error has caused us to add a few days to our process...but I think in the big scheme of things, it doesn't effect when we travel. The nice lady even asked when we prefer to come for our appointment!

I've run out of exclamation points....and energy.

I will so post more news....even if it doesn't seem like news to anyone! (I found one more exclamation point)

Speculation...

As I sit here in the midst of another ice storm, thankfully with power-when all of our neighbors are without, I am thinking that Odessa in the summer sounds good! If we are going to travel no sooner than April...we may as well wait until the kids are out of school! Maybe we can even talk Jakob into going with us this summer! It will also be a better time for our family as well as the kids in Ukraine....they will be at summer camp and we can enjoy time with everyone while we are there! I think the boys would enjoy the Black Sea...I did not go when I visited a few years ago...Vita said it was nasty and didn't want to go. By going late May or later, we can avoid the hassle of having to withdraw Noah from school to go....the only way to avoid the attendance policy ramifications....and him repeating kindergarten.

It's the not knowing that is killing us.....especially me!! I like to have everything very planned out and coordinated well in advance....even after 9 years of being married to David (the opposite of the above mentioned!) I am still much a planner.

4 Days until our dossier is submitted....the end of one chapter and the beginning of another!

Long time acomin'~

We received word that our dossier will be submitted on February 15th!!! And hopefully 4-6 weeks after that we will have our appointment date set...which will be, by non scientific guesstimation, late march to mid april will be when we go to the good old Ukraine!

Since my last blog, we have also decided to take our now 6 year old with us as well as our soon to be 4 year old! They are both very excited about the trip to go get their sister, see her "house", and meet her friends. It would have been nice to have her home in February...but traveling with little ones, it will be much better to go when the weather is nice and we can enjoy the zoo, amusement park, and Deribasovskaya Street...not to mention the Potemkin Stairs. With any luck, we will be there for the (inserted from site) Every April 1, about half a million visitors descend on the city for Humorina - an annual festival of roguery to mark the beginning of spring. The celebration is marked by comedy performances, parades and various large-scale street shenanigans

I promise to keep up better on the blog...as things are actually making progress!!!

Long time....

We have FINALLY gotten word that Vita will be available for adoption Feb of 2008. Our hopes are to go over in April....after the boys' spring break and after winter! This trip....Levi is going with us! I think that he and David will come home after court and I'll stay and chase papers and bring Vita home. We want to reduce the amount of time Noah and Jakob are seperated from us. Being in school will help them, and David's parents, stay occupied while we are away!

Our homestudy is to be done tomorrow.....then our I171 needs to be processed so we can get fingerprinted!

Being our 3rd time getting a dossier together.....it's easy!!!

More later!

Home sweet home!

The trip home was eventful...but all good ones! It was exit rows and aisle seats all the way home! No delays, no bad weather, no reroutes, no bad anything!

Back in Kyiv.....

We were able to buy soms stuff for Vita and take it to the camp...shorts/notebooks. She got all the stuff that was in my elusive bag....and thought it was Christmas. She wrote a letter to her sister. And said to tell Sasha, Dad, Jakob, Noah, and Levi thank you for the necklace....and she loves you. (Dad and boys...she drew pics for you) I was able to give the package to Tania Scherbachenko. Sorry Amanda, your kiddo is at home with family so I left it at the AAA office, along with Jessica's parcels. I was amazed that everything was in the bag as I remember...there is one thing missing...but I would be more inclined to say I forgot it! Vita's boyfriend brought her a bag of gifts yesterday as well...I was told they were most likely stolen. Sad...
All of Vita's friends were gathered around when she opened her parcels...they are excited because she shared her toys/candy with them and she had pictures to show off. We hung out at the camp and I collected letters, took pictures, and enjoyed hugs/kisses. There are kids who need sponsors.... www.adopt.kiev.ua

Vita thought it was the last time she would see me, but got quite happy when she found out we'd be back in the morning! Ira and I went to Mario's downtown for dinner, went shopping, and just hung out. I had my first experience with the "squatty potty"....in the mall. Very nice bathroom...with a porcelain squat hole in the floor...good place for traction, etc...but I didn't know which way to face. Wish I had my camera with me....I didn't think I would need it in the bathroom of all places!

We picked up Vita this morning and she rode to the airport with us. I held it together pretty good until it was time to say goodbye...when she started crying it just broke my heart. I think it is hard for her to believe that we will come back for her. It helps me to know that Babushka Nina will take care of her while we wait to travel.

I hope to have pics available within a week...there are quite a few!

Be home saturday...miss you boys and love you!!

God is Good!!

Well....my luggage made it to Odessa!! And I have it!!!! That's the best news of the day!!

We were not able to take Vita with us today...the chief inspector was at the camp, well...inspecting! He wanted to count the kids himself. She was quite bummed about not getting to go with us..but maybe we can keep her later tonite after he is gone. I did have a chance to walk around the camp and take a few pictures of the various buildings and stuff. Vita showed me around. The orphanage is under major renovations so I was not able to take many pictures there...but I have some.

We met an American couple here to adopt a child they sponsored last year. They were adopting a boy and a girl...unrelated, from different regions, and getting one court date!! What a miracle x 3!!!!!

We will go back later to deliver gifts and spend time with the kiddos. I head out to Kyiv tomorrow around noon30...will hang out with Lucy/Yuri/Dima...spend the night at Lucy's and be at the airport VERY early saturday for a 7a flight!! I hate mornings!!! But it will be night at home...so maybe I should just stay up alllll night tomorrow night and sleep on the way home?

I may blog more later depending on how late we are at the camp. Something about two women out after dark doesn't seem like a good idea here!!

Take care!!!

Wednesday....hump day!

Well...no luggage. And for those who are wondering...Stalin's revenge is my name for the Russian/Ukrainian equivalent to Montezuma'a revenge. And McDonald's is the culprit!! Figures.

We had a good day visiting with Babushka. She put me thru the ringer w/questions to be sure we are a good family for Vita. Do you believe in God? How do you keep your boys in line? Do you like Odessa? Yes? Then just move here. You are a nurse, you can get a good job! She said that I am "sporty", not fat and very simple (mentally??? she can read me like a book!!!)...like "plain folk" I guess. She kept insisting that I take a nap. And anytime we visit Odessa we will stay with her to sleep and eat. She said she wants nothing from us...just to help Vita. She kept the pictures of our family that brought and put them on her shelf. She also wants pics of Vita. This woman is a saint in my book.

The rest of our day was spent doing errands and looking for luggage. No big excitement. Tomorrow is our last day together before I head back to Kyiv on friday morning. I will have dinner with my friends there and leave at 0700 saturday...getting home at 530p...fast flight!! hahahahahahaha.

Take care my friends, and thank you for the prayers and emails!

Stalin's Revenge

Yup...woke up with Stalin's revenge. I have now ventured into a Ukrainian pharmacy and trusted whatever it is I took. Must be a keeper because the only thing on the go were my legs!! We went to the orphanage and talked to the director...who will not let Vita sleep over....understandable, but worth a try! We spent most of the morning with the cardiologist...who rewrote her notes because the orphanage nurse lost the results. The results: Vita has a little high blood pressure, no heart problems, can fly without concern, needs some medicine (which I will buy tomorrow!). The doctor also let me listen to Vita's heart...perfect! The doctor said Vita is very lucky to have a nurse for a mom and that wants to give her a better life in America. It's unfortunate that not all Ukrainians feel that way. With the recent death of the Russian adoptee in the US, who has an adopted Ukrainian sister, people are skeptical. The Ukrainian press has been reporting on the little girl who was beaten to death by her US mom. Sad story, but I'm sure kids everywhere are beaten/killed by their parents. Not making it right, by any means...but other kids are not given a chance as a result.

OK....enough of that!

After the doctor we went to the old part of Odessa and shopped for souvenirs. Mostly crap...hard pressed to find good things....David will be happy to know it wasn't a big shop fest. More painful than anything!! Had lunch at a "steakhouse"... I had chicken stir fry. We worked on Vita's table manners: chew with mouth closed, wipe mouth, cut food like this....don't pick the whole thing up with your fork. It's fun... she watched every move Ira and I made to see how to do things....use which piece of silver ware, how to cut bread and use the bread plate. I'm sure that table manners are the least of the worries to workers supervising a few hundred kids!

Hung out at the camp with the kids as they had mock olympics and got medals. Pretty fun stuff!!! The kids all ask if I am coming back tomorrow...I love all the hugs and air kisses on the cheek!!!! David...make the house bigger....I have a few more picked out!!!

Still no luggage....I called about 6 times today...I might have to learn to curse in Russian!!

Tomorrow we will visit Babushka Nina and do some odds and ends....have yet to make it to the Black Sea...which I hear is nasty! None the less....I want to at least stick my toe in the water!!!

Das vadania!

Monday...it is monday, right???

Todya was an awesome day. I hung out at the camp because today was Vita's bible school day. She was singing many popular praise/worship songs....in Russian, of course....a few in English. We played dodgeball, basketball, made t shirts, and did music. We went to Cafe Relax for lunch again...she can put the pizza away!!! After that I went back to camp with her an hung out with her and her friends....we all shared photo albums. The kids that traveled to America just returned and are very happy to show off the pics of their trips....and the english they speak! After that, we went to a waterpark. Safety be damned! They have two slides that curl around each other....now closed after two deaths a few years ago...broken neck and a kid had his arm torn off by a sharp place on the slide. Scary contraptions!! It was a mad house with 140 kids and general public there! Oh...modesty be damned in Ukraine as well!! I feel like a prude!!

We also went to the orphanage to learn more about Vita's health. We were told that the doctor is on vacation...and she showed up while we there...just out of the blue. I have her original medical record so we can copy it and get Vita to a doctor. I may just have Ira (my ever so awesome translator!) take her to Ira's dentist next week....better than a random possibly bad dentist.

Babushka Nina was at the camp waiting for us...she was there 3 hours. Man, she loves this kid!! She brings food, clean clothes, and a big smile. She assured me that she doesn't live in the streets and wants us to come by. She said she is poor, but a nice lady. At 81 she is amazing!! Has great grandkids, and thinks the world of a child who is no blood relation. A very amazing woman.

Tomorrow we are going to the historical district, souvenir shopping, and shop for some of the other kids (Tania!!!!)

Back to Ira...she is a cool girl.... has her masters and leaves next month to spend two years on a mercy ship in Africa doing humanitarian work. She is the only Christian in her family...so her familial support is limited. Check out the webpage for the organization....and please do not hesitate to sponsor her!!! www.mvdoulos.org

Hopefully I will send more tomorrrow!!

David....hope you are ready for a spitfire daughter who likes to rough house and is crazy about thrill rides!!!

Blog deficient....

Ok...so yesterday I posted a comment instead of a blog....I'm slow. So...read the comment!

Vita is an amazing girl... so much energy!! She is learning some English...and I am trying Russian. We did glamor shots Ukrainian style today, went to the zoo, amusement park, mall, "Relax" cafe, and hung out at the hotel so she could shower....for about 30 minutes!! I can tell she is a Kellett...she ate a huge plate of mashed potatoes and corn for lunch! She loves to draw (and is good), sing, and is learning to play guitar. She loves roller coasters....if you want a thrill, ride a Ukrainian roller coaster sometime!! Safety concerns to be left at home!! Oh...and she rode a camel....and thought it was cool, until the camel peed all over the place!

My first trip to Ukraine I hated it here. This trip I am getting to see much more culture and have fun. Not to mention that Odessa is a world away from Kharkiv/Kyiv...like California compared to Detroit. I am in California!

I was able to spend a little time at the camp tonight. Tomorrow I will be there all day and go to the water park with the kids. If my bag ever makes it...I will give people their gifts!

Vita does have health problems with her heart. She doesn't notice it at all....but Babushka said the doctor said it makes a funny sound. How's that for a diagnosis?? We will go to the pediatric cardioligist this week and dentist...probably not Vita's idea of fun! Don't want to be a Disney mom!! Luckily my WONDERFUL translator's parents are doctors...so I get good referrals! Vita has also had bronchitis. So it does make sense that the director was nervous about sending her to the US.

The kids like summer camp....the food is better there than the orphanage. They go to the beach every day, have a disco at night, talent shows, sports, and the team from the US do bible school in the mornings!

The weather here is much like home...humid. It gets cooler here at night tho. I am getting comfortable with public transportation...it's like hitchhiking, and everyone is a taxi if it means making a few bucks! The busses are the greatest though! It's easy to see why most Ukrainians are so thin...you get more on a bus that way and they walk ALOT!! I am walking more here than I am use to...but I sleep good at night!

It was great meeting Vita's babushka Nina. We will go visit her at home this week. She thanked us for taking care of Vita and said she will be able to die with a clear conscious now knowing that Vita's future is secure. I assured her that she will be able to talk to Vita and exchange letters when Vita comes to the US. We also talked about her sister Olyia who is a year older than Vita. And her brother who now lives in Moldova with his wife and child.

It's hard to stop typing when internet is only $1/hour!! one more quick note...the mall is like a Ukrainian walmart....many floors/departments...only you pay in each department! The security guards randomly ask to see your receipts as proof you paid for stuff. It was funny to me! I was able to buy all 5 Harry Potter books for about $35...hardback!!! I also bought the Mr and Mrs Smith DVD for $5...bootleg, I'm sure!
OK OK>>>>> I'll shut up now!!

Das vadania!

Maiden Voyage

Not that I think everyone is interested in our wild ride withUkraine again...but for those that are, here is an easy way to find out our adventure status! With the doctor and director of the orphanage in Odessa being paranoid after having a child die last week, they have opted to not let Vita come for her holiday. Where we understand the paranoia in our heads, our hearts still don't get it.

Since her coming here is not an option this summer, I am going to go over and spend a week with her. During this time I can look into her health problems, and if needed get her the treatment needed. Additionally, it will give me an opportunity to look into the status of when she is available for adoption.

I will do my best to post here frequently while I am in Ukraine from July 14-23. Leaving my 4 guys behind will not be easy, but knowing that another one of our kid's heart is broken on the other side of the world pulls in that direction...