Our story of Jakob's adoption

I have had a few people ask about our adoption of Jakob. I didn't blog back then, but I have written something that I share with families interested in learning more about Ukraine adoption. Like to hear it? Here it goes...


The adoption of our son, Jakob, was an emotional rollercoaster…at best. A short 7 months later, we were on our way to Ukraine to meet our first son!

We arrived in Ukraine 9/9/01 and were quickly settled in to our flat…on the fourth floor with no working elevator. The following day we were taken to our appointment at the National Adoption Center in Kyiv. We had done everything we were told to do….buy nice gifts, have a little photo album of the life ahead for our child, dress modestly, and most importantly…be patient (much easier said than done!) We searched through 10 or more 4 inch binders full of profiles of children waiting for forever families…and didn’t really feel like any were meant to be ours. The psychologist in the office whom we were working with just so happened to “conveniently” have a profile of a child in her drawer that she thought would be perfect for our family. The profile was Jakob’s, and she was right in her thoughts! Jakob was born on the very same day we were married (so if my husband for gets a birthday he also forgets the anniversary!). We took this as our sign to go see this child.

We were in our flat waiting for our translator and car to come take us to the train depot for our overnight train ride to our son’s city. We were watching TV and it was showing stars on the cities of DC, NY, and somewhere in PA. We were not able to understand the words and all they showed were maps. We joked that it was no news that something was happening in DC and NY. When our translator arrived, they told us of the attack on our country. The stress level we felt at this point increased 10 fold, but we were still very excited about meeting our new son.

After finding a place to stay that didn’t have broken glass in the carpet and had windows intact, we were ready to go meet our new son. (Ironically, we stayed at a spa for pregnant women…I fit in, as I was 4 months pregnant at that time! My husband, however, was a little out of place!) We sat anxiously on an old green divan in the toddler house of the orphanage waiting for them to bring Jakob to us. They took great preparations to get him ready to meet us….bathing him and putting on “good” clothes. When they finally brought him in, it was love at first sight. My husband and I looked at each other with tears in our eyes, and reached out for our new son. Jakob had, and still has, the most amazing big, brown eyes with bovine eyelashes…and when we met him, they were very sad eyes. At the age of 28 months, Jakob weighed only 13 pounds and was unable to stand or walk. He was like a plant that needed a new pot in order to grow. Jakob had many diagnoses: rickets, giardia, developmental delays, inguinal hernia, urinary tract infection, and malnutrition…things that are easily addressed in our country. So, we agreed on the spot that we were interested in adopting Jakob. With smiles on their faces, the caretakers informed us that our next visit we needed to bring “pampers”!

In between going for birth certificates, passports, and other documents we were able to get quick visits in with Jakob. We walked to his orphanage, about 20 minutes one way. We had to take our own toys for him to play with, but he was most interested in the bottles of formula and pedialyte that he used to chase down the tasty goldfish crackers! The orphanage had beautiful trees and a garden where the caretakers grew some of the food for the kids. We were allowed to take Jakob outside for some fresh air and sunshine, but only with a snowsuit on! We were quite comfortable in the 70-degree weather, but you can never be too cautious I guess!

The day finally arrived when we were able to take Jakob with us. I was very nervous as we dressed him in a Winnie the Pooh outfit we purchased at the market. It was as if I was being tested to see if I was ready to be a mom as a crowd of 7 watched me change a diaper and dress my new son. At one point I knew I would fail this “test” because the caregivers were scolding me for not having any tights to put on Jakob before we left. We did have a hat, blanket, and shoes that were easily 3 sizes too big for his tiny feet though! The feeling we had of holding Jakob in our arms on the car ride back to Kyiv is one that will never fade. Without saying a word, my husband and I could look at each other and know that the other was thinking, “I can’t believe it…we have a son!!!!”

Our paper chase, court appearance, and travels were grueling as we thought we would never make it home. After a lot of crying-mom included, diaper changes on the plane, and sleepless flights we finally landed in Kansas City where Jakob’s new family were waiting for him with balloons and a teddy bear…and the beginning of his new life with his forever family.

Jakob is now a very active and healthy 8 year old…with a love for Transformers. He doesn’t remember his life in the orphanage, and we are glad for that. As we prepare to adopt an older child from Ukraine, we remember the trials and triumphs we experienced in bringing Jakob to a better life and hope that other people would consider adoption. The blessings your adopted child receives can only be multiplied back to you!

Update....

Well..our dossier was submitted and now we wait for our date!!! Once we have the date, I will feel MUCH better. Then it's real...and we can start planning! As many of you know....I am a planner! I can start my lists and piles and so on. David will do his part of making the travel arrangments....and I have all the faith in him that he will do a stellar job!

Not much to write....big news comes in small packages!!

I Can't Take it Any More!!!

Our troubled document got to Kyiv today..and is being translated. Our dossier should be submitted to the SDA (NAC) tomorrow. With any luck/sympathy/good karma/ miracles they will give us an appt date on the spot since we will not consume much time at the SDA.

If you are the praying type....hold us there please! We have alot to do to pull this off on our end...but we have faith that it will happen!!

Pulling our hair......

OK...so, when I took a call last week it was NOT from the NAC.....my apologies!! I have since learned it was from Lena.....an assistant (?) to our POA. I have figured this out because I was more alert when she called yesterday to tell me that the Sec of States office put 2007....not 2008 on our apostille. I own part of the blame for not checking......but let the SOS office own most of it! Our marriage certs were redone for free out of pity from the county office and the SOS offered to UPS/FEDEX our docs at their expense....and I'm sure not the fastest way possible! So, I took the afternoon off work yesterday and did the third times a charm edition of our marriage certs!! As of 5 min ago....they were in Paris, France! oy vay!!!

As an oldie, I can tell you the roller coaster ride is never easy to handle. Even though we expect the unexpected....it's still a tough pill to swallow!

So, with any luck (good luck, that is) our dossier will be submitted this friday....only a week late and $250 later!

That's all I have.....for now! With any luck we will have a travel date soon and can get on the next ride!

Here we go..........

So we awoke this morning to phone call @ 6am from the SDA (the governing body over adoptions in Ukraine)!!! I feel so important!!! I thought it was awesome that she called to let us know that our dossier was submitted as scheduled, only they needed more current certified copies of our marriage certificates!! I know it sounds silly, but this was one of the easiest things to correct that possibly could have come up! As far as I'm concerned....this was a baby hoop, as opposed to what could have been a flaming hoop from hell!!!! So, I was able to get certificates from a county office and take them to the state office to be apostilled (proof that the notary is a notary...being the recorder of deeds is not official enough)....all taking less than 30 minutes and costing less than $20!!! FedEx....not so easy, not so cheap!!! BUT...the documents are on their way and we seem to have the sympathy of the one person I talked to!!

Basically, my error has caused us to add a few days to our process...but I think in the big scheme of things, it doesn't effect when we travel. The nice lady even asked when we prefer to come for our appointment!

I've run out of exclamation points....and energy.

I will so post more news....even if it doesn't seem like news to anyone! (I found one more exclamation point)

Speculation...

As I sit here in the midst of another ice storm, thankfully with power-when all of our neighbors are without, I am thinking that Odessa in the summer sounds good! If we are going to travel no sooner than April...we may as well wait until the kids are out of school! Maybe we can even talk Jakob into going with us this summer! It will also be a better time for our family as well as the kids in Ukraine....they will be at summer camp and we can enjoy time with everyone while we are there! I think the boys would enjoy the Black Sea...I did not go when I visited a few years ago...Vita said it was nasty and didn't want to go. By going late May or later, we can avoid the hassle of having to withdraw Noah from school to go....the only way to avoid the attendance policy ramifications....and him repeating kindergarten.

It's the not knowing that is killing us.....especially me!! I like to have everything very planned out and coordinated well in advance....even after 9 years of being married to David (the opposite of the above mentioned!) I am still much a planner.

4 Days until our dossier is submitted....the end of one chapter and the beginning of another!

Long time acomin'~

We received word that our dossier will be submitted on February 15th!!! And hopefully 4-6 weeks after that we will have our appointment date set...which will be, by non scientific guesstimation, late march to mid april will be when we go to the good old Ukraine!

Since my last blog, we have also decided to take our now 6 year old with us as well as our soon to be 4 year old! They are both very excited about the trip to go get their sister, see her "house", and meet her friends. It would have been nice to have her home in February...but traveling with little ones, it will be much better to go when the weather is nice and we can enjoy the zoo, amusement park, and Deribasovskaya Street...not to mention the Potemkin Stairs. With any luck, we will be there for the (inserted from site) Every April 1, about half a million visitors descend on the city for Humorina - an annual festival of roguery to mark the beginning of spring. The celebration is marked by comedy performances, parades and various large-scale street shenanigans

I promise to keep up better on the blog...as things are actually making progress!!!